5 Things Startup CEOs Think Are a Good Idea But Actually Suck
Come on, you guys. (And I do mean guys because let’s face it… only 7–8% of CEOS out there are women.)
It’s like you all read the same terrible advice in the same business publications. There are so many things you think are the coolest that are actually cringeworthy.
And all you have to do is listen to your team to save yourself from the embarrassment and, of course, the employee attrition.
So we’re here to tell you what things your team hates the most that you still seem to think are awesome.
1. Open Offices
Ah, yes. The panopticon of the corporate world. Who needs privacy? Who needs peace? Instead, let’s all work in one big room. That won’t make us hate each other at all.
It’s totally fine that I have to sit at one long desk with everyone else with no space to call my own.
And it’s fine that Barbara eats her oatmeal right next to me every morning and it totally doesn’t make my brain boil when she scrapes the little oatmeal bits out of the mug. And I definitely don’t have fantasies about burying Barbara in a vat of oatmeal. Everything is fine!
Before you say, “But Kate! There are benefits to open offices! Proven ones! Forbes said so!” I get the idea.
If people are all up in each other’s business then they’ll supposedly be more collaborative. (Although Harvard Business Review disproved that, showing that when firms switched to open offices, face-to-face interactions fell by 70%.)
Plus, I know you like to keep an eye on the people you’re paying. Just be honest.
Plus, CULTURE.
I really do get it. But I don’t have to like it. And no one else does either.
In fact, a Clutch survey in Human Resource Executive shows that only 28% of U.S.-based employees prefer an open office.
If you’re not already letting your employees work remotely (as you should), at least give them walls, a desk, and some drawers.
What to Do Instead:
- Put up some walls. People will like it and haven’t we learned anything from COVID? Partition your space.
- Let your employees work remotely. Or give them the option to go hybrid. People want flexible work.
- If you insist on an open office, have plenty of rooms where people can have privacy for phone calls, focused work, tough conversations, etc. And please put real doors on these rooms. I’ve worked in places where all the “rooms” in the open office had clear glass doors.
2. Break Room Beer Kegs
Happy hour is awesome. I love a good drink. And what better way to connect with your peers than to be just a little bit inebriated?
But there’s just something about putting a beer keg in your break room that crosses a line. It takes the spirit of happy hour and makes it bro-y and weird.
Beer kegs at work have that “mandatory fun” feel. And it also feels like an attempt to make employees more compliant.
And if getting drunk in the office is suddenly normalized, it blurs the lines between work time and fun time in a way that’s more than a little confusing.
And what if you suffer from alcohol addiction? Then suddenly you’re uncomfortable at the least and dangerously close to having a drink at the worst. And if people are drinking during work hours, are you supposed to just leave?
Or what if you just don’t drink? Suddenly, the social game of the office is one that you’re losing.
And what if some people party a little too hard? And what if that loosens them up to be inappropriate with colleagues? And what if those colleagues are women?
One of my friends works somewhere where an employee was recently fired for assaulting a woman during a work happy hour. It happens more than companies are willing to admit.
Beer kegs can seem like a cool perk, but can ultimately be less than great for your overall culture.
What to Do Instead:
- Host your happy hours on neutral ground. Choose a bar (one that everyone in your employ can afford if you’re not treating).
- Make sure you’re also incorporating events into your company’s social calendar that aren’t centered around drinking.
- Say no to mandatory fun.
3. “Unlimited” PTO
Cool, so basically I’m retired now? While the concept of unlimited PTO is awesome, it’s more than a little misleading. Not to get into semantics, but it absolutely isn’t unlimited. Ever. Even at great companies that are actually generous with their unlimited PTO, approving all time off requests and trusting you to know how much you need to work to actually get your work done.
But often, unlimited PTO is a CEO’s idea and then managers have a different idea. So how “unlimited” your PTO is can totally depend on the person you’re reporting to. Departments that are valued more at a company get more PTO. Managers that don’t take any PTO inadvertently discourage their teams from taking time off based on their own behavior.
And often, it’s just a recruiting gimmick. Plenty of companies say “unlimited” until you’re in a pickle over your childcare situation and take what is arbitrarily considered too much time. Or it’s unlimited until they lay off 10% of the workforce and make you pick up the slack and then… when are you actually going to take a vacation?
And most importantly, unlimited PTO is a great way to avoid paying people for their unused PTO if they leave the company.
What to Do Instead:
- Provide generous PTO. Provide a month. Provide all the holidays (including MLK Day).
- If you want to say you have unlimited PTO, actually offer it. And make sure you’re not scolding employees if they use it.
4. Paying People in Stock Options
There is nothing wrong with stock options. They can be a generous benefit. But if there’s no IPO or acquisition on the horizon, they are basically empty promises.
Founders tend to think of stock options as sharing a piece of their baby with their employees. But in reality, it’s only a promise to give employees a piece of that baby if a qualifying event occurs. So pretty much, it could be fire or it could be smoke.
I know people who’ve taken stock options as pay, people who’ve gotten raises as stock options, etc. etc. And as of yet, the companies where they earned those stock options haven’t gone through any changes that would make those stock options worth anything.
Personally, I’ve received stock options from two companies and let both lapse.
What to Do Instead:
- Pay your people. Use stock options as an added bonus rather than a way to compensate them.
- Educate your employees on what stock options actually are (aka — not stock) and how they should handle them.
5. Calling Your Company a “Family”
Woof. I think you know how I feel about this (mainly because I’m loud about it). Your workplace isn’t a family no matter how many times you call it that. It’s just the kind of saccharine rhetoric that puts the “cult” in “culture.”
Firstly, it infantilizes your employees. If your workplace is a family then is the CEO the dad or mom? (Gross! Let’s not.)
And if an employee is a pseudo child to daddy CEO, I think we need to call a therapist because that family dynamic is toxic.
Would a parent stop supporting a child if they were running out of money? Probably not. But a CEO would lay off an employee if the company has a tough quarter and can no longer afford the employee’s services.
So before you start drafting your core values and adding “Family” to the mix, think about how loaded that term is. Think: Do I really want my employees to be my family?
What to Do Instead:
- Build a culture of genuine caring. Treat your employees like human beings. Show them respect and kindness.
- Set boundaries. Make it clear that your workplace is a workplace and at the end of the day, the decisions you make are based on what’s good for the business.
Listen to Your Employees
If you’re thinking, “No, my employees love these things!” I urge you to test out your theory. Have a third party conduct an anonymous survey and share the results with you.
Make sure it’s not a survey like Great Place to Work where there’s an award on the line. (Results won’t be as honest from anyone truly bought into the company.)
And if employees say they hate the things on this list, listen.
